I remember being expected to interrogate the concept of ‘belonging’ from a theoretical perspective for the first time in high school English class. Fittingly, the class of 12-year-olds and I analysed the poems of Emily Dickinson in an attempt to conclude something deep about ‘belonging’.
I enjoyed and related to her poetry, but drawing conclusions about something so omnipresent felt like such an impossible task. But maybe a high school essay reflecting on 1800s poetry isn’t the best format to communicate something profound about belonging. Maybe a documentary archiving a group of lesbian and bisexual Filipinas in ‘90s New York City does a better job.
I have watched BECAUSE OF YOU: A HISTORY OF KILAWIN KOLEKTIBO (DAHIL SA ‘YO: ANG STORYA NG KILAWIN KOLEKTIBO) and, to me, it is primarily about the importance and impact of belonging. Not just the fuzzy feelings we enjoy after finally discovering a person or group we feel at home with, but the conflict that occurs within any group, which is both healthy and a threat. It’s honest, inspiring and heartbreaking.
A sense of belonging isn’t usually as accessible for people who exist on the peripheries. Power involves being counted as desirable and/or normal; being perceived as normal and/or desirable increases the chances of belonging. Belonging is mutually seeing and being seen. It means relating to and genuinely understanding another human being, and being understood by them. It is integral to our overall health.
Belonging feels so palpable and important in the documentary because the stakes are so high. We hear from a group of marginalised people who are not only excluded from heteronormative society like other lesbian and bisexual women, but also feel completely unseen inside white-dominant lesbian and bisexual groups. They take matters into their own hands and revolutionise their lives by creating a group to belong to. But it’s not utopic. All collectives are impacted and threatened by group politics.
In BECAUSE OF YOU: A HISTORY OF KILAWIN KOLEKTIBO (DAHIL SA ‘YO: ANG STORYA NG KILAWIN KOLEKTIBO), filmmakers and former members, Barbara Malaran and Desireena Almoradie, reunite to preserve Kilawin Kolektibo’s history, reflect on its impact, and process some grief. The streaming premiere is set for Open Television on Friday, June 5th
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